not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
