If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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