Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
