just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm too high and old for this...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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