i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
