after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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