Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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