there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
