I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
