No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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