i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
