Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
