he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And my parents said I crawled through the house
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
