Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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