This girl is more easily done than said...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
