Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
