i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
