I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
