were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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