Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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