i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
