My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize