last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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