Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
