I think i peed on brittanys purse
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
