I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
