??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
