I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
