I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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