I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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