what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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