no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
