im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
