I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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