everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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