margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
