i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize