you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize