took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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