I just made out with a guy for $7.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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