I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
