i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
