No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think your dad took our porno
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
this hospital has no fireball
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize