We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
