people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
