So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
