Where did you get a picture of my penis
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
