Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
