Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Randomize
