I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
