Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My balls are so social today.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
