A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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