never play flip cup with pint glasses
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize