how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
