the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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