I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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