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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you inspire me to be a worse person
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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