Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
