I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
