there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
