Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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