You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
