Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
