apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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