I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
