Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A bitchslap is in order.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
