i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My vagina is officially offended.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
