Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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