come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
