just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
